The Tell-Tale Tote Bag

Hannah’s mother wanted the Elizabeth Arden perfume set for Christmas, and the big red tote bag that came with it  — FREE!  Hannah schlepped to the mall, an experience she detested.  At the Elizabeth Arden counter she asked for the special gift set, and the clerk took the big stuffed tote bag down from the display and explained, “And you get this lovely tote bag for free!”  Hannah explained that the red tote bag was why “Mom” was so precise in her gift demand this year.  As the clerk tried to up-sell, Hannah was thinking, “How do I walk out of the store with this big red bag without security wondering whether I paid?” Two distracted souls finished their transaction, and Hannah walked out with the perfume set in a bag and the FREE big red tote in the other.  “I have my receipt,” Hannah repeated because she was thinking that she did not want a Jason Bourne moment of, “You, with the red bag, stop!”

When Hannah got home she got out the perfume gift set to wrap for her dear mother.  She was going to wrap it separately and place it in a moving box with the big, red tote bag and wrap the big moving box as well to give Mom the thrill of the hunt on Christmas morning. But, as Hannah lifted the perfume set from the store shopping bag she spotted another tote bag in its folded form, tucked neatly into the bottom of the bag.  Honest Hannah let out an expletive because now she had to go back to the mall.  She was angry – ditzy clerk! So, she put everything into the moving box to walk away from it and calm down.  But each time she walked back into the room, the moving box was a reminder that she had TWO tote bags.  So, she took pillows from her bed and put them on top of the moving box so that the tale of the two red totes would be hidden. But, the tote bags would not be silent.  They kept pounding.  Edgar Allen Poe’s tale of the beating heart was alive and well thanks to cosmetic counter offers.

The next few days were filled with Hannah rationalizations:

• “If I take it back, I will have to pay $2.00 for parking.”
• “It was a free gift, after all.”
• “This is not my fault.  This is the clerk’s and the store’s fault.”
• “What is the big deal anyway?”
• “How many people would actually take this back?”

Hannah then turned to her friends for advice, but only the ones she knew would agree with her, “Let is go,” they said, “It’s no big deal!” “This is THEIR problem!”  “It was FREE!” Still the totes in the box under the pillows kept beating away.

The cost of the parking was an obstacle, so Hannah called the store.  There was utter silence on the other end, followed by, “I’m sorry.  I am so surprised that anyone is this honest.  Come back.  We’ll pay your parking and give you a free gift.”  Hannah declined the free gift, but dismantled the pile of tote covering and schlepped back to the mall to return one tote.  She went to the counter and spoke with the woman who had answered the phone.  Hannah handed her the tote, and the woman gave her parking validation. “How about a free gift for your trouble?” the clerk offered. “No, just want to return the tote,” Hannah replied.  The clerk said, “No, really, all you have to do is buy this set and you can get a free . . . ,”  Hannah turned and ran.

Like a looped tape, these unresolved issues bounce around in our heads until we cannot take it any longer.  Get rid of that baggage, or at least the extra red tote.